bulletproofheeb

Super Amazing Comic Series: Part 1 - An introduction to some long running comics

So I'm putting the last touches on my second complete script (soon to be filmed) and my mind has breathed a huge sigh of relief.  As much fun as it was collaborations take a lot out of me.  And in order to get back to the ME writer I'm setting down with a project that I've been outlining for a long time but have yet to actually write.  My comic.  And what better way to get into the mind set (and back into blogging habit here) than to review what I've been reading.  Well, maybe not review.  Not yet.  I think I'll summarize and explain some comic books.  What I really want is to get people reading some really smashing writing.  Yeah.  I'll do specific reviews of new stuff, but those will have spoiler warnings.  Consider this an introduction.

This is part one.  Out of how many?  I don't know but  I'll venture a guess of around 5 or so. Part one will review a bunch of long running comic series.  Now, not all comics are literature but some sure are.  I could always go with Transmetropolitan as an example but that brilliant run ended a while back (if you need something to fill the void try Ellis' Doktor Sleepless, which I'll review when I do newer comics).  Screw it.  I'll start with Transmet.
Transmetropolitan is a 60 issue book by Warren Ellis following Spider Jerusalem in the "future".  He's a journalist and an accidental activist but most of all he's angry.  Think Hunter S. Thompson in the world of Bladerunner.  Are you thinking of something glorious and sinister?  Well, it is.  The main draw is that Spider's world doesn't directly reflect that of ours.  It's slightly abstract.  For instance; the political subplot revolves around an election.  It starts out as a newcomer being championed, or at least vilified less, over a current corrupt president.  The two candidates are nicknamed The Beast and The Smiler and seem to represent the right and left in politics respectively.  There's no specific war scandal.  No sexual affairs.  It's a battle between party ideals and both are horrible people.
        The future that Ellis gives us isn't one where things are better or wore.  Things are just pushed a little bit farther up the technological ladder.  The people remain the same.  Patrick Stewart loves it.  Go read it.

Now let's move into newer territory.  For those of you who haven't been reading Y: The Last Man, by Brian K. Vaughn, I'll explain it.  It recently ended with a giant 60th issue.  The plot is fairly simple.  Yorick is an amateur magician.  One day a plague hits the whole world and kills off anything with a Y chromosome.  Yorick and his pet monkey (Ampersand) seem to be the only male survivors.  It could quickly degrade into a disaster story but it doesn't.  It focuses on how society does and doesn't manage to rebuild.  It shows the differences between a world with men and one without, all while avoiding sexism in the writing.
        The characters are great and the writing is quick and witty. I'd have to say that Vaughn's writing is a mix between the characterization of Joss Whedon's better stuff and the pop culture awareness of Kevin Smith's.
       What's really amazing is how the quality keeps pumping through all 60 issues.  World politics come into play.  What happens to the US government is hilarious.  Other governments fall and rise, factions and rouge teams show up.  But it doesn't turn into an espionage story.  Then there's Yorick and the women who escort him through his journey.  There's his search for his family and girlfriend.  But it never turns soap.  How?  I don't know.  I wish I could set up a book like this.  But I can't yet.

Next up?  Fables by Bill Willingham.  This has a simple concept that, like the other good books I'm going through, takes completely original directions.  The idea is that Fables (creatures and people from our stories) live.  Their strength is proportionate to how well known they are.  And their land was invaded by other Fables.  So a bunch come to New York and set up shop.  They use magic to hide and create a ghetto in NYC as well as a farm upstate for the animals.
       But oh how complicated it gets.  The characters are so much more fully realized and dynamic than anything in old folk lore.  And the variety of stories the characters are taken from is incredibly cast.  There's Pinocchio, the big bad wolf, Aladdin... the list goes on.  The early issues all take a genre like mystery or crime and pay homage to the form.  Later on the back story takes precedent and pulls the whole plot along.  The problem with that is there is a dip in action part of the way through.  But the pacing picks up and as of now is still running fast.  This is a book worth getting involved in.  Even though it's still being written it's been out long enough that there are a lot of trade paperbacks for the earlier issues.
       The level of this book is smart but it's not so snobby as to not be fun.  Prince Charming is actually one prince across all the main stories (Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty...) and the Big Bad Wolf is sheriff.  Basically this book kicks.  And if you want some twisted adult themes the Animal Farm arc has some strange stuff going on.  If you need a book to prove that comics aren't either for kids (DC) or malcontents (Harvey Pekar) then this is the one to start on.
       Which leads to the spin-off...

Just to let everyone know: I have a lot of comic posts coming but I had to blog on this because I just read issue 5 and ARRRRRRGGGGGed all over the place.

So I'm not really a fan of Angel.  I tend to agree that he's a big fluffy puppy with bad teeth and a lot of nancy-boy hair gel.  But.  Angel: After the Fall is actually a pretty good comic.  It's an extra season of Angel in comic form, much like Buffy Season 8.  Angel lost whatever he was fighting at the end of the show and now Hell has risen and taken over LA.  Shocker.

Anyway, the ARG! moment is that the issue ends with a nasty case of battle-interuptus.  Yes, it stops in the middle of a fight scene and has left me with plot-related blue balls.  Once can almost hear the sudden silence and see the black screen with nothing but "Produced by Joss Whedon".  It's a sudden stop and it's a little bit painful.  Mid fight scene!  And there's a fucking T-Rex/Dragon battle!  How's it end?  Buggered if I know.  Because the issue ends!

I'll be posting more (coherent) comic posts soon.  And I'll even explain why.

Dear lord.  I need to start this review out my review of Dragon Wars that way.  And then I need to write in a warning.  I can't explain what happens by saying "action A leads to action B".  I can only say "this happened, then this happened, then this".  There's no actual path of events, only one thing on the screen after another.  And none of them are terribly related.  Maybe I should give you a clipped version that I've managed to piece together.

The movie (a 90 minute movie) starts out with around 20 minutes of straight exposition in the form of nested flashbacks.  Ethan Kendrick (played by Roswell's Jason Behr) is a reporter.  He's at a construction site and sees a large item partially exposed.  He then leaves.  the object is never referred to or completely unearthed.  Ethan, or Roswell as I shall call him, goes to his office and has the first flashback.  He sees himself as a 14 year old.  A large box opens.  The same scale like item is inside and he's hit by a wave of light.  Oh, that explains nothing...  He then flashes back and it's an antique shop run by a man with a thick Chicago accent.  The man fakes a heart attack to be alone with the young boy and then launches into a long explanation of the box, scale and an amulet that he gives to Roswell.  This story takes the form of a flashback to 1507 Korea.  We are supposed to learn that a girl is born every 500 years with a dragon tattoo on her shoulder.  It is her fate to be sacrificed to either a good dragon or bad dragon.  That dragon will then become a more powerful dragon and... well, it doesn't rule or influence anything.  It will just "win".  Anyway, that's the plot.  But the actual flashback is the mixed up battle.  There's the chosen girl and she falls in love with her protector.  The bad guys attack with the bad dragon, flying dragons and a bunch of dinosaurs with heat seeking mech canons... in 16th century Korea.  And somehow none of this is entertaining.  The protector ends up killing himself and the girl rather than let the bad dragon eat her.  Of course, he never let the good one eat her either.

If you're confused or bored then I'm doing a good job explaining this movie.  The rest of the flick is just a chase scene that makes no sense.  In the middle of a chase Roswell and Sarah, the new chosen girl, go to the beach and stroll.  It's not a dramatic stroll.  Also, the main villain leading the evil hordes looks like Spike (from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) with the face of a present day Billy Murray.  I call him Spike Bill Murray.  He gets hit by a car a few times.  Don't worry, he's OK.  Oh, and the antique store owner is actually a 500 year old shape shifter who turns into a woman who works with the US government.  At some point Spike Bill Murray summons his flying dragon/mech dino army and they wage war.  There are some explosions but no build up or sense to it all.

In fact, all of this is incredibly dull.  Drinking didn't make it fun.  The fights didn't make it fun.  In fact, all of the battle shots weer lifted directly from Lord of the Rings, but less skillfully executed.  Towards the end of the movie the two heroes wake up at Orthanc, which they call the cave or something, even though it's in the middle of a desert.  The amulet acts like Frodo's ring and sends out a blue shock wave that kills the bad army.  Then Spike Bill Murray (in his Witch King rip-off armor) pokes it with a sword and dies.  Then the good dragon shows up for the first time and fights the bad dragon.  It looses (!) but that's OK because Sarah feeds herself to it and then it wins.  She dies, the dragon cries and Roswell is left alone in the desert, happy in the knowledge that he might meet and kill his true love in 500 years time and that he has a long walk back to earth ahead of him.

This movie sucked.  If you turned off your brain it wasn't fun.  If you thought about it then it wasn't fun.  In fact, if you watch this movie you will not have a good time.  I thought that the concept would have been A+ schlock.  Dragons versus dragons and tanks and helicopters?  Fuck yeah!  It sounds like a 14 year-old's wet dream come true.  But this was nothing but utter disappointment.  Underdog was more entertaining.  I really felt like I had wasted my time when I stopped the DVD.  What other treasures could I have rented and watched that would have made my Netflix choice more rewarding?  I could have probably chosen to put my account on hold and felt more fulfilled.  In short, do not see this film.  Patrick Warburton could save this movie.

On my scale of -5 to +5 stars I rate Dragon Wars a -4.
It could only get a lower score if the heroes somehow espoused Nazi support throughout the script.  Although that might have just made it more enjoyable for its ridiculous factor.

    Well, it took me so long to get to the last Bad Netflix that I've built up quite a list of crap since then.  So instead of making snarky summaries of 30 odd crap flicks I'm going with a theme.  The theme is based around the fact that almost every movie on this list is a blatant rip off of something.  They all want to introduce themselves and ask if they can replace the originals.  Let them say hello.  And when you're done reading the list, go and vote on what I should watch and review next.